Remember the happy little song and video ‘Love Shack’ by the B52s, back in 1989?

The love shack is a little old place where
We can get together
Love shack, baby
Love shack, that’s where it’s at

Huggin’ and a-kissin’, dancin’ and a-lovin’
Wearin’ next to nothing ’cause it’s hot as an oven
Yeah the whole shack shimmies
Everybody’s movin’, everybody’s groovin’ baby

Listening to the song again this morning, I’m wondering if it might be about a bit more than just a dance party 😉, but back then it didn’t even cross my mind … 🤔

But I digress! 

The song popped into my head because I was thinking about the ‘Love Hormone‘, 💓, so keep reading to see the connection!

Isolation & wellbeing

This last week has been bitterly cold and I’ve just wanted to hibernate. I literally wanted to crawl under the doona and not come out – not talk to anyone or go for a walk with Clancy or catch up for a movie with friends.

But despite the urge to retreat and lay low, I did make the effort to do those things because I know how important connection is to my wellbeing (even for an introvert like me).

All the research shows that feeling alone, isolated or disconnected causes stress. A lack of meaningful connection and being socially isolated from real people (in other words random scrolling on social media just doesn’t cut it) is a measurable predictor of physical and mental health.

Think back to not being picked for the netball team at school, or being left out of an invitation when people are going for a drink after work …  Even if it’s a mistake, or not intended to be hurtful, being on the outside hurts and causes stress.

The power of connection

The reason is simple – it’s a matter of survival. Humans are social animals, it’s how we’re wired. If we hadn’t been able to form groups and cooperate, we’d have perished.

Being cast out or ostrasized from a group or community affects more than just our physical survival – it causes stress, and chronic stress leads to disease.

And there’s another layer that’s more subtle but just as measurable and important as belonging and inclusion. It’s the element of physical touch that often accompanies social connection, whether that’s a hug or a pat on the shoulder or a slap on the back.

Positive physical contact releases the hormone oxytocin aka the Love Hormone.

Oxytocin plays roles in behavior that include social bonding, love, reproduction, childbirth, and the period after childbirth. It’s been shown to increase relaxation, decrease stress and to lower anxiety levels.

It appears to help your body adapt to a number of different emotional and social situations. Intranasal oxytocin has been directly linked to enhanced communication between romantic partners — particularly during arguments.

I’ve found that if I’m angry or upset with someone I love or care about, reminding myself of that love takes the edge off my feelings, and gives me space to address the situation more positively, instead of acting from stress.

create your own personal ‘love shack’

Ideally, we have positive connections in our life where we feel supported and accepted, whether that’s with family, friends, belonging to a community group or church or sports team, as well as the ability to comfort ourselves when needed.

What if, for some reason, you are disconnected or isolated? Maybe you’ve moved to a new city and haven’t found a friendship group there yet. Or you’re ill and stuck at home without much contact. Or a significant relationship has ended or has become distant and stale.

How can you experience some ‘self-love’ to create some of the Love Hormone for yourself?

Just as a hug or a kind hand on your arm can be comforting, there’s a technique called Havening which uses your own therapeutic touch to elicit brain waves that lead to healing and emotional relief.

Havening Touch® was developed by a medical doctor and neuroscientist, Dr Ronald Ruden,It’s a firm, slow movement on specifically researched areas across on your arms, palms and face. This generates calming Delta waves and causes a powerful change in brain chemistry.

 Here’s a very short video to show you how to self-soothe with Havening

Or you can groove along with the B52s here ‘Love Shack‘ to get some good energy happening, especially if you can find someone to dance with!