Let’s be clear here – asking for help is definitely not a sign of weakness or failure!
It can be very hard to ask for help, or let others see that we’re struggling and not on top of it all.
Sometimes we feel like we have to be upbeat and positive all the time, and answer with a chirpy ‘Fine!’ when someone asks how you’re feeling.
Some of the reasons behind that ‘happy face’ could be:
* Because you don’t want to be a burden …
* Because then they might think you’re not coping …
* They’ll judge you as being weak or a failure …
* Needing help or support mean you’re a failure in some way …
But putting on a happy face and sweeping difficult emotions under the rug aren’t a good long-term strategy for good mental health.
For a start, if no one knows what you’re going through then they can’t offer support. Also, we need to be aware of what we’re feeling so we can find ways to deal with it – it won’t go away just because you ignore it!
Anxiety, fear, negative feelings, stress – these are just part of being human. You haven’t failed. These ‘shadows’ are part of our growth, and they’re just as valuable as the ‘sunny’ parts of our lives.
There might be beliefs you hold that stop you showing that you’re vulnerable in some way. Maybe beliefs from our culture or your family or your friendship group or peers – beliefs like ‘I should be able to do it all’, or ‘Everyone else has it all under control’, or ‘I’m not good enough so I have to do waaaaay more to hide that’, or ‘I’m an imposter – if I ask for help, they’ll find out!’ Or ‘It’s not ok to be less than perfect’.
Do any of those harsh judgements sound familiar?
Developing self-compassion and recognising that nobody is perfect, is an important step in reducing stress and finding a genuine balance in your life between what it would be great to be able to do and what’s actually reasonable.
#support #help #awareness #wellbeing #selfcompassion #anxiety #psych-k #mentalhealthawareness #impostersyndrome #selfcriticism #stress #perfectionism